Saturday, February 19, 2011

I stole this, but haven't stopped laughing yet

This came from Bits and Pieces up St Louis way........

Pig breeding
A city boy decided to quit the rat race and bought himself a farm, which included a few sows. He wanted to breed the sows, but had no idea how to go about it. His neighbor volunteered his boars for the job, and told the city boy to bring them over in the pickup the next day.

In the afternoon when he went to pick them up, the city boy asked how he would be able to tell if the sows were impregnated. He was told to look and see where they were early in the morning. If they were up on the hill, they were pregnant; if they were in the sty, it hadn’t worked.

The next morning, he leapt from the bed and looked up the hill, but alas the pigs were down in the mud. Grumbling, he loaded them back into the pickup and headed for the neighbors. The following three mornings were just the same; he would leap from the bed, look up the hill, find the pigs down in the mud and have to return them to the neighbors to let the boars have another shot at them.

On the fifth morning, he looked up the hill, and there were no pigs. He looked down in the sty; still no pigs. He called to his wife, “Where the hell are the pigs today?”

Amid hysterical laughter, she managed to choke out, “They’re down in the truck, and the big one is honking the horn!”

What a way to celebrate life.......................

Friday, February 18, 2011

Hot scoop on Daytona 500 Race

The latest hot scoop on the running of the Daytona 500 this year.

During the pre-race show, keep your eye out for an early model Jeep, painted yellow (with Goodyear tires on it), driven by a guy in a yellow NASCAR official jump suit.

Rumor has it being around the end of pit roll near turn one.

When you see it, you are looking at a native to Springfield MO, none other than the little brother of this writer.... The JEEP.

So smile and remember, you can be on TV during the biggest race day events, if you were raised in the Queen City of the Ozarks.

The Gentleman Farmer would be proud to see this happen.

Way to go Jeep.


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Well Duh ???

So my younger brothers live down in the Birthplace of Speed in blue hair land. I live up here in the Ozarks.

So today it is warm and sunny, even downright hot driving home in the little mule from the Queen city of the Ozarks.

So as I turn on the boob tube tonight, I catch the "Budweiser shoot out" from down there at the Birthplace of speed. They even have a new track to run on... well, it was resurfaced.
Anyway, I sit and watch the race for a couple laps, and decide the Jeep and LongRoof are probably at the track watching the race from the infield.

Ring a ding ding

"Hey where you at?

Head of pit roll.

Why can't I see you?

Cause it's cold down here and ______________ (missed what he said due to loud noises of race cars going by)

Hey you must be right there where we saw two guys shivering!

Danged right and I'm going home (Jeep)

It's cold, about 40 down here (Jeep)

Heck, it was 47 here in the Ozarks......... another day of

the Ozarks being warmer than Daytona Beach Fla.


Sunday, February 6, 2011

To Billy Long

I sent the following email to Billy Long today. Wonder if he will even answer!

Message Subject: Why are you wasting your time?
Message Text:
Congressman Long, I can't believe you (and a hundred others) are wasting your time on a Rape bill! We need the economy fixed, not the Rowe vs Wade bill! When do you plan on a fix to the jobs situation? Or do you even have a plan for that? You got a job, how about spending your time doing something productive for the jobless!! Or were you all hat during your campaign? Tomleemo

Long and a hundred others have sponsored a bill to redefine rape and when an abortion can be funded. Head over to the Bus's blog, a link on the right column for more info on the subject.


More Snow came and more is coming

WELL, Friday night we got a little more snow, 2 inches to be close to it.

So now the Farm crew is in a pinch.

I remember my Dad, the Gentleman Farmer, going out into his garage, using his 4X4 to go to the end of his driveway (about 60 feet) to get the mail whenever it snowed. I laughed so hard my eyes teared.

What has become of me? 20 years ago when it snowed, I would diligently clear the snow from the driveway, sidewalks (we didn't live in town so this part was easy), and generally have everything cleared soon after the snow stopped.

All this week, I went out to the garage, got in my truck, and drove to work, stopping at the mail box on the way home. Now my driveway is over 700 feet long, so to walk is a chore.

Yesterday, the Barngoddess1 asked if I was going to clear the drifts so she could get out. Yes mamma, if you want the snow cleared, yep I'll get it done.

So out to the haybarn (tractors are both in haybarn because my huge garage (30 by 40) is full of everything else = bronco, my pickup, pto generator, furniture from travel trailer = you know all that stuff that accumulates.

Well, both tractors are diesel, and guess what? Yep reminds me of the time my little sister Carol came up from Blue Hair land with her mercedes diesel during Christmas time. I really like that car she had, but when she was here, the temp plunged and lots of snow came. Now Carol had not plugged her car in and when she went to start it = well, call the Jeep, and her car got towed to his Goodyear dealership and parked inside to warm up.

So neither tractor would start, even jumping from the Little Mule. So after trying to pull one tractor out of the way and almost burying the Little Mule, we pulled that battery and onto the charger it went.

So what to do while charging? Play Mario, world eight and get killed plenty of times. To make a long story short.

I started the adventure of getting the tractors started shortly after returning from the Vet. Oh I didn't tell you that the daughter scheduled to have the two bulls Derek and her are raising, taken to the Vet to be dehorned, shots, and castrated. So we hooked up the horse trailer and loaded the two of them and went to the vet, then home and jockeying around show drifts to get the trailer close to the gate....

So what started at 8 am, ended by 1030; and I was ready to get tractors as afore mentioned.

It was 3 before the tractors were running. Now the new tractor doesn't have rear wheel weights. Guess what.... spent more time trying to get unstuck that moving snow. So today, if I can get both started again, I plan to move the wheel weights from the old tractor to the new so we can get so more snow moved.

Hey Bus, How about I bring the trailer in and pick up your jeep and plow???
Might go faster, and at least I know it runs.

So no pics yesterday, my noble assistant was somewhere else and I keep forgetting the camera.

Superbowl sunday, and I think I will be moving more snow... it was drifted two and a half feet in front of the haybarn, about the same on the back porch.

So enjoy today down there in Blue Hair Land, we got more snow coming this week.
Yesssss...... do have to admit there were some beautiful scenes yesterday with the sun reflecting off trees.

Sister Mary will call today and let me know it was 78 at her back porch, bah humbug.

But we love it here and the snow is just a minor inconvenience.

There aren't farms like ours in blue hair land..... so I guess we'll stay here and in playing in the snow we are

Celebrating life.


Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Well it seems two of my little sisters live down in the Blue Hair land (same as three of my brothers), and I really enjoy visiting with the two of them. But sometimes I get really tickled when they call.......

Well take tonight for instance. We are in the middle of the blizzard of 2011, got about 12 inches of snow, and with the wind gusting, we have sometimes zero visibility. Not a problem if you know where you are going, and around the farm, we got it down pretty good.

So temp tonight is heading for 2 or 3 above, with temp Thursday AM around minus 10.
Wind chill is well below zero.

So after getting home tonight, a 35 minute venture, where the worst road was the State Highway out front... but as a consilation, Interstate 44 is closed from Springfield to the Mo-OkLA state line due to snow and blizzard below zero visibility (haven't figured that below zero visibility - I guess you can't see your arse in front of your face???).

Anyway, watching the news, warming up in the recliner, and Little sister Mary calls. Oh Tom ===== just to let you know temp here is going to be 75 tomorrow.


Got a good laugh out of it. But 75 at this time of year is just too warm for this ole man, about 65 should be perfect!

So for those of you down in blue Hair land, here are a couple pics from outside the back doors of the farmstead this evening. Mind you the walk and patio had been shoveled clear just about 30 minutes prior to talking these photos -- talk about blowing wind..............

view out dining room sliding glass door across back yard.

This is a view of the hay barn from the breezeway that we aren't using cause it is too cold to sit in the "breezeway" with 30 to 40 mph winds.

and last is the rock garden where the piles of snow are from drifting, not shoveling. Guess it will be time to get the tractor out and use the loader to move snow... hey Bus, bring the dump truck out, we can load snow in it and take it to the pond and dump it... just like NYC does into the Hudson.......

NAH..... I think I'll let the weather melt the snow first.....

So enjoy the pics and know that we are warm and comfy, and celebrating life.........

Bus got any pics of snow plowing with the jeep????